Dim Witted Thick Skulled Stupid Brother
by Lvl2DragonTamer
Summary: The girl burst into the bus stop with murder in her eyes, and, from the language she was using, it was on her mind, as well. Shego at 13 or so decides to start an early life in crime. But she runs into a stranger while waiting for the bus... Oneshot.


The girl burst into the bus stop with murder in her eyes, and, from the language she was using, it was on her mind, as well.

The man eyed the teenager askew and scooted slightly closer to the wall as she sat on the bench beside him. She couldn't be older than fourteen, though it was hard to tell in the semi-darkness and the rain. She had raven black hair that was clipped close to her head, like a boy's cut, and she wore a green and black... what was the word? It was like a unitard, except not made out of spandex… or what ever unitards were made out of… nnngh…. He knew this one…

While the man was trying to think of the proper word to describe her outfit (catsuit), the teen sighed and buried her head in her hands. She stayed like that for a few seconds. Then her hands burst into green flame.

"Umm…" The man said and swallowed. The girl did not reply. "Your hair is on fire…"

The teen swore and propelled herself off the bench, out of the relative shelter of the bus stop, and into the driving rain, in a vain attempt to put out the flickering green flames that were licking around the edges of her hair.

The flames gave him a better view of her face. Not that he would have normally cared, or anything, but he noticed that her skin was pale white with a tinge of green around the edges.

Wait--were those tears streaking down her face? Or the rain?

It didn't take _too_ long for her to put the flames out. "And that's why my brother made me cut my hair when the comet hit." She snarled as she re-entered the bus stop and sat back on the bench. There wasn't so much as a quaver in her voice. It must have been the rain, then. "Not that there was much left to cut by the end of the day. I _HATE _having short hair. It makes me look like more of a circus freak than usu... al..."

She was cut off by the man's hand waving in front of her face. It was holding what was once a chocolate bar, one of those mini _3 Musketeers_ type things.

The teen took the gift between her thumb and forefinger as if it had been one of her brother's dirty socks. "Thanks…" she drawled.

"What, you don't like chocolate?" The man replied, a little shocked by her ingratitude.

"First off," she retorted, still holding the chocolate bar as far away from her as her arm would allow, "This thing looks like it was in your back pocket for about two weeks. That, or that you had an elephant sit on it until it melted, then had the elephant stand up and walk around until it congealed, and then told the elephant to sit on it again."

"Secondly," She said and threw the chocolate back at him, smirking a little as it made direct contact with his face, "I'm not an idiot. I don't take candy from wierdos like you."

"Huh?"

"I bet you're one of those creepy forty-year-olds that live in your mother's basement that only venture out into the real world to kidnap little girls. Creep."

"I am not!"

"Oh, so you're forty-five, then?"

"Nnngh! Stoppit, whatever your name is!" The man paused. "What is your name?"

"Apparently it's 'Shego'. My brother came up with it, can you tell? I'm not supposed to use my real name anymore, just in case one of the villains gets the bright idea to hold my family/friends hostage. But I think that's giving them waaaaaay too much credit, if you ask me." Shego clenched her hand into a fist and muttered "Huge steroid-muscled dim-witted thick-skulled--"

"What's so bad about your brother?"

"Dear little Hego?" She snarled and started to tick off points on her fingers. Then stopped. "Well, to sum it all up, his biceps are about ten times the size of his brain, and his skull is so thick that his gray matter is suffocating from lack of oxygen."

The man nodded and said nothing. An awkward silence hung over the bus for a few minutes until the girl resurfaced from her train of thought to ask "So what's your name, Mr. Creepy?"

"Wha--Don't call me that!" The girl shrugged and tried to hide a smirk. After a few awkward seconds of silence the man said "It's Dr. Drakken."

Shego raised an eyebrow. "You're a doctor?"

"A doctor of evil." He muttered darkly and tried to sink further into the bench. "I would've had my doctorate in rocket science if I had stayed at that school for another year."

"And you didn't because...?"

"None of your beeswax." Drakken muttered.

"Fine, creepy."

"Nnngh!"

Drakken was left to his own thoughts for a little while. That was, until he felt a searing pain in his arm accompanied by the wretched girl saying "Poke!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!" Drakken yelled in shock and looked at the small hole in his sleeve.

"Poked you." The teen wriggled her gloved hand and Drakken saw the gleam of metal around her fingertips.

"You're wearing claws! Don't you know that makes it _hurt_ when you poke people?"

"That's why it's funny. Hey, you said you're a wanna-be supervillian, right? 'Doctor of evil' or whatever?"

"I'm not a wanna be! I'm as bad as they come!"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Hey, I admit kidnapping teenaged girls is pretty bad, but it's not the type of thing that a _super_-villain would—"

"I AM NOT KIDNAPPING YOU!!"

"Yeah, whatever. Look, can I live with you? Not like that, Gutterbrain." Shego said quickly upon seeing his expression, "I mean, like a partners-in-evil type thingy. You know, you come up with all the crazy schemes that give me an excuse to bash stuff?"

"No."

Shego clenched her fists. "What, you think I couldn't handle it?"

"I think your brothers need to send you to boarding school and leave you there." Drakken muttered.

"What was that?" The teen asked in a dangerously calm tone.

"N-nothing, Shego."

"That's what I thought." The girl replied darkly. She started to examine her nails. "So, about the whole me being your beater-uper person-thing…"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't hire kids. Besides…" Drakken awkwardly twiddled his thumbs, "I'm kinda in between lairs right now…"

Shego's jaw dropped. "You _do_ live in your mother's basement, don't you?"

"I—well—um… GAH!"

"'d rather not work for a loser anyways." Shego crossed her arms. "Too bad, though, you actually understand that you're being insulted, unlike my brothers…"

The bus pulled up. _Thank goodness_. Drakken thought to himself and headed towards the doors. A bus was large enough for him to sit far, _far_ away from whats-her-name. He moved back from the doors to let her enter first, just to make sure that he could pick a seat on the other end of the bus than her, only to find that she was walking down the pavement, back the way that she had come.

"Shego, where are you going?"

"Home, for now." She called back. "I was gonna split and start doing some villian work now, but seeing as how you turned up when you cut college, I think I'm better sticking it out. Heck, I might even get a legit degree for when I'm senile." She waved. "See you around, Mr. Creepy!"

"NNNNNGH!!!"

* * *

My first KP fic. If it stinks, feel free to tell me so. :D  



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